The Non-Crucial Needs

So I thought about it really hard, and these are the only material things I need to get the job done in my life. This of course is material only... so my wife and cats don't count and also it's things outside of required survival items like food and water. It's a good idea to make this list as you can look back at it when that next impulse buy appears and see does it fall in line? I use it all the time for that reason now.

1. Computer - this is very important if you know me at all. I currently have 2, one desktop and one portable. Honestly I only need one portable but I'm having a hard time breaking away from the old mentality. One day i'll switch for good ' but until then, i'll rock both!

2. iPhone/iPod Touch/iPod - So this one is debatable, I don't really need the phone but at the time it was the only ipod that had a microphone. I could easily live off of Skype/VOIP (which i plan to do in a year once this contract is dead) and just use pre paid minutes on the thing. The key here is I enjoy music a lot so it needs to be easily accessible for my sanity!

3. Nintendo DS / Portable Gaming - Just got mine but really i've been dying for a portable gaming device for years! I used to be huge on the console market but it's just such an investment. These days I roll with a Wii and now the DS because it's easy to hop into and leave for a quick escape and some fun.

4. Camera - I actually hated these things while growing up. They seemed like such a bother to pull out and use frequently but as I've grown, i've begun to enjoy them more and more. There is a lot out there that one person can see and remember with a camera but the joy i get is sharing those with other folks.

5. A Chair - Ha! Even typing it makes me laugh. I don't understand why, but i have much dislike for standing and sitting on the floor. What I enjoy is a nice comfortable lounge type chair, something you can sit in and relax.

6. A Light - Seems to be getting very simple huh but I'll need one of these because the nice glow from my computer screen isn't always enough to keep the eyes from hurting.

7. Headphones - Since I was a kid, I've always had some loud music running and as I grew older i started to consider the folks around me a bit more. These babies are the only thing that keeps folks hanging around me still so they are simply a must!

8. A Book - Doesn't matter what kind, prefer cooking science or gastro-science, but a book is a nice break from the technological world that you can see above. I'm always researching and learning new stuff so this fits perfectly in that plan.

9. Water Purifier - As noted above, I've learned quite a bit over these years and I know that these guys are well worth their weight in gold! It is very important to keep healthy and pure items going in your body and water is hands down the most important!

10. Omelet Pan - Given my joy of cooking this would have to be on the list somewhere right? Nothing beats a good quality non stick omelet pan. You can cook everything you need in it, even soups if it's all you have! No good chef is without his/her favorite pan. I even have a 14 inch one, but the 12 inch is probably the only one i need.

My Greatest Fears

Reading another great post from Zen Habits discussing the conquering of fears. I figured the first step would be to get them out in the air instead of "hiding" them! So without further adieu, my greatest fears are listed below:

• Being Alone
• Going Bankrupt
• Failure in my ambitions
  
• Not enjoying life

Being Alone

One would think that because I'm married, this wouldn't be a fear anymore. I would agree to an extent. Prior to marrying Judy, I was very afraid of being alone. The life I knew disappeared with my parents separation/divorce, and I didn't really have that many true friends, more or less, just acquaintances. Meeting Judy fixed this problem as I now have someone I enjoy very much as a friend and a partner. The fear hasn't gone away though, it's just morphed into hoping I don't screw up the relationship. Honestly, I feel this stems from the parents situation because a part of you think you follow the same path as your parents.

Regardless of where it comes from, it's still there and still a worry. So here is my plan of action: I will accept the fact that my life is dramatically different from that which my parents had, and I am the only one to shape how it will turn out. I will stop worrying so much about the what if clauses in this category and focus on enjoying the great relationship I have with Judy!

Going Bankrupt

Another life experience I watched my parents go through(I'm seeing a connection here...). I wasn't really taught how to handle money growing up. I was basically just taught that you needed money to live and to make money you had to work. So that gave a great foundation but i never framed up anything on top of that. I went through a hard time struggling after college but have worked myself out of a deep hole. Now I sit in an area that doesn't have much growth industry wise and we are in a bad economic time. This is what is driving the fear now as my job and Judy's can be in question with the blink of an eye.

So Here's my plan: I've done a great job so far managing expenses and lowering my living costs. I have backups available and really am doing what everyone suggests in forms of preparing for disaster. I need to continue to be mindful of the end goal, financial stability, and not fry just because of some silly fears which are not even that relevant to my situation anymore. The past is just that, and I will be letting it go and moving forward!

Failure in my ambitions

I don't know if this is the same as everyone else, but I have a lot of ambitions and goals in life that I want to accomplish. I also notice that for some reason I don't always have the motivation to work towards accomplishing. Maybe I just want these ambitions to come to fruition without much involvement or work.

This is not have ambitions are reached so here is the new plan: I will first evaluate my ambitions and verify they are still what I would like to do. Then I will stop putting off the work and prolonging the ambitions into eternity. The only way to get over this is to work towards finishing rather than stalling.

Not enjoying life

This one actually makes me laugh because the fears itself make this not happen. I find myself worrying about everything a lot. I also find myself angry or upset over things that are not under my control. This leads to a very lame life. The quote "All work and no play..." sometimes feels completely true. I always feel that I'm working more then I'm enjoying which is partially correct. Most of the time I'm working to avoid things that relate to what I'm afraid of which is good and bad. If i wasn't afraid of these things than i wouldn't be working to solve them which in turn would give more fun time.

Given the dependency on the other "fears" to be conquered I still think this one can be worked on solely. Here's the plan: I'm going to work on conquering all the other fears but keep this one in mind. I will be sure to take mental breaks if I feel I'm digging a hole and will try to enjoy as much as possible in everything i do. There is no more any room for being upset about my choices, only I can solve them.

How I want to feel in the core areas of my life

Was reading a post over on Zen Habits which Danielle LaPorte was describing how feelings are an important part of goals. The suggestion was to jot down some feelings that you would like to experience in the these categories below and see if you can find a common theme amoung them.

Once found, you can then use that to drive your actions. The assumption here is that if you are meeting your feelings requirements, you will be happy about the actions rather than thinking them as a chore (at least what I got from the article). So I decided what better way to share then with the WORLD! Enjoy my feelings.

Career

• Creative Freedom
• Independence
• Happiness
• Respect
• Appreciation
• Gain

Relationships

• Happiness
• Love
• Respect
• Appreciation
• Closeness
• Interest

Spirituality

• Independence
• Familiarity
• Understand
• Competence
• Interest

Wealth

• Pride
• Respect
• Relaxation
• Interest
• Gain

Wellness

• Respect
• Relaxation
• Patience
• Amusement
• Gain

So apprentely my overall feelings I seek in life are: Happiness, Interest, Relaxation, and Respect. Looking at myself from a wholeistic perspective those feelings seem to be what make me sastified with an action. Pretty neat stuff!

My Adventure in Graphics

So I wanted to add some custom flair to my twitter page (www.twitter.com/madzak) and didn't want to have something someone else might. So after teaching myself a little "graphic design work" in gimp and hooking up a sweet schema color using this picture http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3481/3211599002_d3e75b6bff_m.jpg and http://www.colr.org, I created my killer theme!

Judy said it sucks though and that made me sad :(. I've included the image here and it's copyright information below




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